Memorial Day - One Hour Later

Memorial Day - One Hour Later

OK, so you've tried to make it through Memorial Day without jerking off, and there's really no way you're going to do that. You don't want to be disrespectful, so you're left with the puzzle, how do you jerk off and still feel patriotic at the end of it? Well, let's take a lesson from the king of beers, Budweiser. You want to get drunk and drink your favorite beer even though it's owned by some dirty Europeans, but you still want to feel patriotic about it. Well, they've figured out a helpful solution for you. Just wrap an American flag around the beer can and and you're good to go. It's the same thing with porn. If you just have the lovely Lucy Doll wear an American flag bikini, that's about as patriotic as you're going to get with porn.

Like a lot of things American, we might not have been the first ones to make a porn film, but we were definitely the ones that perfected it. Porn in kind of like the moon in a sense. Our President stood up in front of our congress and insisted that we reach the goal of making the most perfect porn film there ever was in ten years time. Many historians thought that Debbie Does Dallas was the end result of this goal, but that's not entirely true. The end result of the program was the creation of Ron Jeremy, who is actually a two billion dollar porn robot that was created by DARPA, and became self-aware during a scene in The Boondock Saints where he was in a scene with a naked woman but not actually having sex with her. The government decided that the porn robot RJ-69 was not actually harmful and the decision was made to let it live out the rest of it's existence in a split-level house in California with multiple cats.

Have a good Memorial Day everyone.

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