Christmastime is Here

Merry Christmas! Now Open Up Your Gifts!

Here it is again my fellow pervs, the holidays are upon us and I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of people that will be happy when it's over with. It's not that they don't like Christmas or the other holidays, per se. It's more of that they don't like the bullshit that goes on during that time that's the problem. It takes a lot to make the holidays a good one and it could be pretty fucking frustrating.


It seems like we go through a lot just to make one day of the year a special one for pretty much everybody. Now that wouldn't be so much of an anal hell or fucked up handjobs but it's the shit that you have to pretty much go through to make it happen. Other than that good shit the holidays are not that fucking bad. I mean you get to spend time with your family and/or other loved ones and have fun giving gifts. What could be more fucking enjoyable than that? Well, good fucking is but that's another story.


Anyway, you have to go through so much shit just for one day that comes once a year and pretty much has people acting like top notch bitches. Like getting people gifts for example. Everybody has got their heart set on some shit that they could get pretty much any time of the year but some fucking reason, they want it even more on Christmas. I'm not really sure why but I guess that it's the fact that somebody else paid and bought it for them that makes it so much special. I don't know.


Either way, you find so many mother fuckers trying to find the right gift for everybody so they don't have to deal with the bitches and complaints of somebody saying that they didn't get exactly what they wanted. That shit right there is stressful enough but you also have to deal with the other mother fuckers trying to get the same gift. So you find yourself fighting over some shit that you could pretty much get for a lower price after Christmas just to make sure that who you are buying the shit for could open up the shit for Christmas that they thought they wanted, possibly hating it and wanting to return the mother fucker because they didn't want it as much as they thought they did.


When it comes to that shit, the thought that you elbowed that grandma that was trying to get that gift for her grandkid, who might have loved it even more, sends you into regret because you ended up damn near being beat up by an old lady with a cane, just so they could get what they say they wanted only to see the shit being tossed to the side like a bad memory. Not to mention, running around stores like gagging whores looking for some shocking cocks trying to get shit before they run out of it and hoping that you've got enough fight in you not to have somebody 40oz bounce your ass out of the way while you're trying to get the shit.


Don't even get me started on those grinch type mother fuckers, who are looking to rob your ass while you're out there trying to spread the holiday cheer shopping. They are just sitting around the store looking for somebody to rob because they are easy targets. They could give two shits that you are trying to buy gifts for the people that you care about. All they want is what you've got and they don't care if they have to destroy that ass to get it.


These fuckers don't give a fuck about Christmas except for to steal something. So now, you don't just have to be ready to fight to get the gifts, you have to be ready to fight to keep them. You find yourself watching your back either way, just so that you could make sure that there are gifts on Christmas day. You're paranoid like a mother fucker because you are hoping that that guy that you manage to snag the last of some shit or some mother fucker intent on robbing you are not following your ass. So you're sweating like a anal virgin waiting for her first big cock and hoping the dude doesn't pump that ass.


When you finally get home, you're jumping out of the car like a swat team, looking around and running the gifts into the house like a football player trying to win the big game. Then you have to try to ninja your way past the people you got gifts for because you don't want them to know what you've got for them and try to wrap those gifts without them knowing. Plus you have to hide those mother fuckers too. It's a lot to deal with for just one day.


I've been there myself my fellow pervs. I have found myself fighting fellow shoppers and criminals holiday shopping like I was Bruce Lee in Fists of Fury just to get gifts and hoping that the ones I bought them for would love them. I mean I would be spending so much that you think I paid some high priced chick to be tonight's girlfriend, only to have about half the mother fuckers like the gifts I gave them and get some fucked up gifts. Then the rest of the day try my hardest not to act pissed off because either I didn't get shit or the shit that I did get pissed me off.


Now, when it comes to Christmas, I just get people the shit I think they want, leave the receipt in the box, grab a bottle of what I want to drink or a 24 pack of beer and a carton of cigarettes. Then when Christmas Day comes, I give everybody their gifts, say "Merry Christmas", grab what I got for myself, get drunk until my nose is as red as Rudolphs and smoke like a chimney before I pass out. And hopefully if I'm lucky before I pass out, I get laid. That's what Christmas is to me.


Sure I was just joking about the part where I get drunk and smoke like crazy, I do that after everybody's opened their gifts and I make sure that I don't get too drunk that I don't get laid. Passing out drunk before I bust that nut is not going to happen. I have to enter the hardcore before I knock out for the night. To me, beer, booze, cigarettes and Mrs. WANG with her big juicy juggs doing the 40oz bounce on my King Dong is one hell of a way to end the Christmas day.


It just goes to show that Christmas Day, or the holidays, don't have to be a burnout or at least not a total one. There's always something that you could do to ring in the holidays whether or not you choose to be with family or you can't be with family. You don't have to spend the holidays lonely if you don't want to because there's always somebody out there that's looking for somebody to spend it with and you never know that mother fucker might just be around by the time next Christmas rolls around. It might be a long shot but it could happen.


Anyway, the holiday season could always be a good one no matter if you are lonely or not. It all depends on how you look at shit. Either way, try to make sure you're in the screaming O or cumshot oasis at the end of the night. It can and will happen depending on where your mind is at.


So until next time, wrap that rascal if she's nasty, don't forget to pull out if she's not, be safe out there, have some good fucking fun, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy Fucking my fellow pervs.

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