UK Bans Some Sex Acts in Porn

UK Bans Some Sex Acts in Porn

And.. the world just got a little more shitty to live in. It turns out the U.K. just quietly amended their 2003 Communications Act to restrict some things that no one in their right minds thinks is a problem. This is going to cover not only the DVD market, but also the Video-on-Demand ( online porn ) services that bring you your daily health materials. Are you ready Brits? These are some of the things that you can't watch anymore..

  • Spanking
  • Caning
  • Aggressive whipping
  • Penetration by any object "associated with violence"
  • Physical or verbal abuse
  • Urolagnia / Water sports
  • Female ejaculation
  • Strangulation
  • Face sitting
  • Fisting

Basically anything that they think can be associated with bullying..

The basic idea of the new rules are, more and more kids are looking at porn because of how widely available it is, and they are starting to get a little worried that the kids are getting the wrong idea of what "normal" sex is. You see, they can't tell you what you can and can't do in your bedroom, so they're going to make it so you don't ever get any funny ideas of what you can and can't do in your bedroom. Simple right?

And how the fuck is female ejaculation even in the realm of bullying? It almost seems like bullying if you don't let them do it. And face sitting is good for everyone involved! And is fisting out because that's being penetrated by something associated with violence? It's not like it's in the shape of a fist when it's in there. It's a little more like a paw. If they call it pawing, can they do it again? And verbal abuse is going to be the worst one to even regulate. If you can't call someone a slut in a porn, than what the fuck are we even doing here? I can't imagine the directors job now.

"Okay, cut people. Bill, you can't tell Susan that she's a slam pig and she likes it. And Susan, you definitely can't agree with him. Okay people, from the top. And try to think of something nice to say to each other. Maybe compliment her on the fact that she has enough muscle control to not let any ejaculate leak out."

"Well, how the fuck are they going to know what I'm watching?", is probably your first question, right? Well, don't worry about that. The law isn't to stop you from watching it. You can still download and watch an American get a mustache ride. That's completely legal. The law is to prevent UK porn stars from making it. Oh wait, that's worse, isn't it?

You see, if the UK porn stars can't make it. Then everyone in the whole world can't watch them do it. It's not like they're going to make porn just for the rest of the world, and not their home country where most of their fans are. So for all you fans of British dom / squirting / pissing / anything fun porn stars, get ready to get fucked in the ass. ( but not with a fist though, or anything else that's associated with violence in any way. )

I put in some porn to soften the news a little bit, but I made her a butter face because I'm still a little pissy about it.

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