Big Brother 16

So this is going to be kind of a selfish post. I'm kind of a Big Brother fan, and I don't mind if you judge me for it, and I don't mind if anyone knows about it. So, if you're not a Big Brother fan, just wait a few hours and more porn will be coming in a few. But for those of you that like it, and watch Big Brother After Dark waiting for a nip slip like me, these are my predictions for the new season. I haven't read anything about the contestants, so this is from looking at this one photo. But I feel like I'm a good judge of people by staring at them from all my years of porn.

The Ex Girlfriends
  • 1 - Girl the men gravitate to first. Voted off early due to other women pressuring the men to get rid of her.
  • 2 - Forgot her middle name long ago. Will be kept around due to being easily manipulated. Totally shocked when voted off.
  • 3 - Will awkwardly stock one of the boys. Sidekick to #8, will be voted off right two weeks before her to 'weaken' her.
  • 4 - Mad that G is interested in the white women instead of her, her large head will actually explode. Will be voted off soon, but not soon enough that it makes everyone else look racist. Will have a bible.
  • 5 - 6 years in her sorority have taught her how to work well with the other women. B will like her but never approach. Possibly winner.
  • 6 - Confident that she will be the center of the male's attention, she'll be surprised that it doesn't go that way. Men avoid due to being sure she's seen more dick that they ran a bar of soap across. Will lead revolt against #1
  • 7 - Never knowing how to be truly hipster, she'll be friends with F because she thinks that's who a hipster would hang out with. Ultimately end up in the only true 'showmance' with either H or C which will confuse and anger F. Voted off because of it.
  • 8 - Most likely to have sex on camera. Constantly by the pool, she'll be left out of most conversations which will lead to blind-side.
  • A - Only ever having one girlfriend, ( his high school sweet heart ) girls will consider him, but never fully pair up. Used by the girls as an extra vote, and voted off by the men because of this.
  • B - Will accidentally say something racist. Will go far because of this due to others keeping an 'easy target' around. First to start an alliance, but first to be broken up.
  • C - Not knowing he's on Big Brother, will just server as an extra vote for whoever he's in a showmance with. Loves kids.
  • D - Serving as the third 'twist' of the show, the gay robot from gayderville will shock everyone when he replaces zingbot.
  • E - Duuude! Not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, will reveal any behind-the-back play that happens in the first two weeks. Voted off early because of this.
  • F - Having only lived in Austin for a few years, tries to compete with B in the redneck category, but only knows the hip places to buy ribs. Awkwardly becomes friends with D to show how 'accepting' he is. Easily used for votes from the women. Kept around because of it.
  • G - Bro friends with C, H and sidekick A, will be confused when one of them ( C ) isn't voting with the group. Only hope for any male winner besides H.
  • H - Hunted by 1,3,5,7 and 8, will be the main source of conflict in the house for the women. Probably winner due to being popular with both the men and women.

I think I pretty much nailed it. Now if my prediction from years ago will finally come true and Julie just starts dildoing herself in the middle of the live show and crew forgets how to go to commercial, and the country becomes so enthralled with dildos that women just start to do it openly on the street. ( just the good looking ones, not the fatties )

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