Cockblockers

Yes cockblockers are the people that we love to hate. These mother fuckers seem to show up every time we want to fuck. They always stand in between us and what could be some awesome mother fucking, knock down drag out sex. They don't care either if they have to be like a kamikaze pilot, just so long as you don't get any.

Now, I know that I'm not the only one that's had experience with cockblockers. I'm pretty sure that everybody, no matter if they are a man or woman, has had some kind of experience with a cockblocking mother fucker. That's right, cockblocking doesn't just happen to men, it happens to women too. A cockblocking mother fucker does not discriminate, their job is to make sure that, whether it's their friend or foe, nobody is getting laid if they aren't.

Cock Blocker

Yes I know that it's bullshit but the fact of the matter is that they are there and they will make sure that you don't go on a big ass adventure going at it like a bunch of horny spanish flies. No their whole deal is to keep you down to their level, no matter what it takes. They want you to be just as miserable as they are, so they do what they have to make sure that it happens. They don't care if they ruin a relationship, just so long as they get what they want when they want it.

Cockblockers will see you talking to somebody and they will just show up when they see that the conversation is getting good. You two could be talking like not so innocent teens that are horny as fuck, and then the cockblocker shows up because they can feel that you two talking could lead to some hardcore porn fucking. They know that it's about to get all hot and sweaty with you two and they are determined to put an end to it.

When they come up you try to act all good to them even though you know what they are doing. You end up fighting so fucking hard to keep your composure because you just want to curse them out but you hold it hoping that they will go away and you two could get back that what you are talking about. They don't leave, they just sit there up in your face and your lady or prospected lady's face cockblocking your action.

It doesn't even have to be in a club or something, it could be in your own home. How many times have you wanted to have some time alone with your woman and somebody shows up at your house? It could either be her friends or your friends. You both want to get nasty with each other and that mother fucker just won't leave. I mean that's some bullshit. Then when you let them know what you are about to do, they blow it off and feed you some bullshit about how you can do that anytime. What the fuck does anytime got to do with anything when you want to do it now?

It's worse if you live with a cockblocking mother fucker. You will definitely have no privacy what so ever so you can get that shit out of your mind. If you ever lived with family or a roommate you know what I'm talking about. Every five minutes those bastards would be knocking on your door to see what you are doing.

I know that it happened to me when I was in the military. I would bring some chick back to my room and everybody in the whole barracks would come knocking on my door. I hated that shit because I knew that it was the fact that I had some fine women coming to see me. I got wise to that shit and made sure that I got a hotel room and wouldn't bring them back to my barracks room. The only time these chicks would come to see me on base was when they were picking me up.

Cock Blocker

I have dealt with the other kinds too like the friend or friends that see you talking to their friend so they come up trying to push their way in. These assholes have been out their shaking their asses all night and now they want to cut in on their friends action because they haven't got any all night. You both could be ready to go back to your place for some Mr Big Dicks Hot Chicks when her friends come back with some bullshit.

They won't even give you the chance to get the phone number because they are ready to go. They bad mouth you because they went around the whole club trying to throw pussy at men that turned their asses down like they were a bunch of old tarts. Now they are upset because they see that their friend is about to get all big tits in sports with you and now they are jealous. You would love to do everything that you could to see that she doesn't leave but the fact of the matter is peer pressure is a mother fucker.

And let's say that they don't want to leave. Their friends like you and want to push up on you. I don't know about you but that shit is irritating to me. I can't stand when I'm talking to a woman and another one just tries to push her out the way. When they do that to me, the straight forward man I am, I let them know that I don't appreciate that shit. I was talking to her friend not her. I guess, I'm like that because I have had that happen to me a few times. If you have too, I don't have to tell you that shit doesn't feel good at all.

Cockblockers doesn't have to be friends at all. They could be enemies. They could be some mother fucker that you just don't like and they try to ruin your chances just because. Now, these sons of bitches might not even want the woman that you are talking to. They just want to piss you the fuck off, so they will just cockblock for the hell of it. They don't want to see if she gapes, all they care about is making sure that you don't get the pussy.

Now, I know that you might just want to beat the hell out of them. I've felt that way a few times but truth of the matter is you stand to lose more than you gain. Let's just say that you do beat the hell out of them. More than likely you are going to end up in jail, then you really won't have a chance to get the phone number or anything else from her. Plus the fact that you would end up with a criminal record and possibly a lawsuit. So what do you do?

Well, me, myself have found that if you end up welcoming the cockblocker in your conversation you throw them off guard. They usually don't expect that. They expect you to just get up and leave or just plain all out get upset. But when you invite them into the conversation, you score more points with your lady friend. It shows that you have confidence and that you are not afraid of losing her. And believe it or not that's a real turn on with the ladies.

Now as far as friends go, you gotta love them. Sure you don't want to be mean to your hanging partner but you do have to let them know what's going on. I'm not saying that you have to be a asshole about it but let your friend know what the situation is, more than likely if they are a good friend, they will understand and give you your space. If they are not, then you're probably better off without them anyway, just saying.

Cock Blocker

Like I said, set up a game plan with your friend or friends if you go out with them, about what to do if you meet a woman that you want to have her legs up in the air at night. Let them know that when you are talking to a woman, that more than likely you plan on being a dirty masseur with her later that day or night and you would like to make sure that you have a better chance of that happening. So set up some kind of code that will let your friend know what's going on without tipping off your potential tonight's girlfriend that your friend knows what you two got on your mind. Sure it might end up tipping her off anyway but the whole thing is about being discreet with the whole thing.

Now as far as the cockblocking fucker that you are enemies with, there's no good way of getting rid of them. These mother fuckers are like a storm, you can't stop it from coming all you can do is just lock everything down and ride the storm out. They are just going to show up and try to cut in on you, that's just a given. How you handle the situation means the difference you getting a nice piece of an ass or having an assault charge on your ass. So watch your step.

One of the best ways I have seen to deal with these types is to let them in on the conversation. They wouldn't be expecting that, they would expect you walking away pissed off. What I used to do when I got into this situation, I would offer to buy them a drink. I would invite them into the conversation. This would throw them off guard and many times leave them speechless while at the same time earning me some pussy points with the lady because she can see how much of a jerk off he is and how confident I am.

As far as bringing a woman home with you, when you live with family, friends or roommates goes don't do it. If you can go back to her place or if you have the money get a hotel room. It's a lot better than worrying about somebody knocking on your door every five minutes. Sure you might have told them that you might be bringing somebody home but the truth is that no matter what they may tell you, you are not going to be alone.

You are better off getting a hotel room because you are guaranteed privacy then. When you put that "Do Not Disturb" sign on your door, more than likely nobody is going to come in to bother you. You are going to have peace as long as that bill is paid up. So you are a lot better off and you both could fuck as much as you want.

Now as far as the friends or family that seem to show up at your place when you and your woman want to fuck. You have to just straight out tell them that you and your woman want to fuck. Let them know that they should call before they come because you two might want to do something and you don't want people in the house while you are fucking. If they get offended, oh well they will get over it.

Let them know that it's not that you don't fucking care about them. It's just the fact that you would like, if not love to have some quality time with your woman. This goes for women too. Don't be afraid to tell them that you would like to spend some quality time with your mate. It's your house, you pay the cost to be the boss. Just remember that.

Well, I've got to go, as always, Happy Fucking my fellow pervs.

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