Is Sex Safe?

After watching Jessie Palmer get fucked by more than one huge cock, a friend of mine asked me if I thought that a dick could kill a woman. Having replied that I've seen my fair share of women being choked out by a dick in their throats, my answer would be, undoubtedly be yes. I know that's not what he meant, but it got me thinking, sex can be dangerous if used by the irresponsible.

Then this article comes out a couple of weeks ago describing why the male of any given species tries to finish sex as fast as possible, and avoid dying in the mean time. It seems that nature has trained us to finish up as fast as possible, before the local elephant in the jungle comes to step on your nuts while he takes over for you. But as nature ingrained into our DNA the need to finish as fast as possible, we fight that instinct to the bitter end, to last as long as possible. You never know when the next time is going to be, and there's very little chance that a ninja is going to bust through the window and kill you, so you might as well enjoy it. But even in today's modern times, there still are dangers.

If you think about it, the biggest predator that you have to worry about is the vagina that you're sticking your dick into. Over the millennia, the fairer of the two sexes has become the thing that you have to keep your eyes on the most. From the black widow spider to Lorena Bobbitt, you never know what the situation is going to end up like after, or even during, sex. ( not that I wouldn't still fuck Lorena Bobbitt, I'd just be a lot more careful than I am with other girls. And I'm pretty careful with most girls ) So, with that in mind, I'd just like to outline the top three things that you should be looking out for, while you're having sex.

The Unknown Dominatrix

Californication
Watch out for the right cross!

This is definitely a tough one to defend yourself against, because by it's very definition, you don't know that this shit is coming. You could get punched, choked out, a random thumb in your ass, your balls stepped on, or much worse. And you're too much of an idiot to run your ass home and hide, because you don't know when the next time you're going to get to have sex is going to be. Guys will put up with a whole mess of shit, if there's a vagina just out in the open, sitting in front of you. Just remember, if ever there's a time that you're having sex, and the lady pulls out a dildo, do not take the time to ask which one of you is about to get that in the ass. Just assume that it's you, and find the fastest way out of the building. Preferably a window.

The Father

It is safe to assume that whatever girl you happen to be fucking at the moment, there's a guy in her life that doesn't want you fucking her. It doesn't have to be her father, her brother, or the boyfriend that she never told you about. It could be some maniac stalker that she's had for six months now, and he's super pissed that she's giving it up to you and not him. And with almost as many guns in the United States as there are people, you can be pretty sure that that guy has one. To which, my advice is never give anyone your real name. You think Rex is my real name?! OK, it might be, but I'm never giving anyone my last name. You don't want anyone coming for your ass three days later and you get blind sided in an alley trying to score coke. Trust me, it's going to be one of the shittiest day of your life... Not that that ever happened to me.

Your Wife

Wicked City
Shit's scary. ( and a little enticing )

I'm not saying here that your wife is going to find out that you had sex with someone else, and she's on a hunt to kill you.. although that's happened about a million times in the world last week alone. No, I'm saying that having sex with your wife is probably one of the deadliest things that you can do in your life. Bobbitt is just an extreme example of this. You see, when you have sex with your wife, over time ( and this has been proven ) you start to enter a near death like state that mimics a voodoo zombie lurching around the earth just looking for something else that can kill you for good, because that bitch won't let you die. The main problem is, the government forces you to have sex with her, or she can site irreconcilable differences and she's got half your life anyway. It's really a catch-22 situation, that Einstein himself had trouble getting himself out of.

I really have no advice for anyone in the third situation, so it's best to just lay low, and try to think of happy things that will get you through the day. Like porn. Porn is the main reason that 72% of all males can actually have sex with their wives. And the shitty thing is, they hate when you look at porn! It's just a fucked situation all around. So the next time you see a guy in situation three at the bar, by him a drink, get him a subscription to Reality Kings, and just be thankful that it's not you. And just make sure to watch your backs out there boys.

Check out the Reality Kings review on RexMag to find out more about this site!

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