Halloween Porn

Halloween Porn

Whelp, it's Halloween, and you know what that means, Halloween porn. Well, at least that's how it use to be. Back in the hay day of internet porn ( or what we like to call.. porn ) all of the major websites would put on little productions showing off all of the acting talents of their major porn stars. They would get dressed up in crazy costumes, strip down until it was just a fucked up pumpkin head or something, and then have sex just like any other porn movie, but with weird regret that you never felt before. A lot of the porn was just too strange to jerk off to, but that was the point of this time of the year.

You see, porn and Halloween are fundamentally opposed to one another. You just can't scare someone while they're jerking off. One, it's fucking rude. Two, with most men's teens years spent training their ears to hear absolutely everything while they are jerking off, just in case mom comes up the stairs, you can scare someone jerking off 87% easier than you could a normal person. It's just science. Third, and probably most importantly, you don't want anyone to blow out an o-ring. Imagine for a second, that you're just about to ejaculate, and something scares the shit out of you. That's permanent damage right there. There's no fucking doubt about it. That's going to be one of those ER stories that you have to ask the nurse to leave so you can properly explain it to the doctor.

But the good/bad thing ( depending on how you look at it ) about this is, you don't have to worry about this too much anymore. We all know that the porn industry in kind of on a downhill slope, and websites just can't go that extra mile anymore. Well, most do one or two things here or there, but more and more are just forgetting about the holiday altogether, and making it business as usual. They don't want to put the extra cost in, if there is little to no return to it all.

But through it all, there is one fabulous website left, that still leaves you turning your head to the side while you're jerking off and making you wonder if blowing your load to a girl in a devil outfit means double time in hell.

Brazzers is keeping the porn tradition alive and well for the world with a buffet of Halloween porn that I was frankly surprised at the amount of. They have everything from Diamond Jackson playing Weremilf, to Audrey Bitoni playing Frankenslut to many more. And those are all good, but I really wanted to talk about one thing.

They are doing a multi-part series called American Whore Story. I think they're on part five right now, but I'm only on part four, so I'm not entirely sure if it ends there, or continues. I have to say, I haven't jerked off to a single one of these things, but I know I'm going to watch every single one of them. They're not as good as, I'm the cook, but what the fuck can be?

I'm just glad that someone in porn is keeping the tradition alive so we can all enjoy Halloween porn the way it should be.

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Check out the Brazzers Network review on RexMag to find out more about this site!

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