St Patty's Day

St Patty's Day

Being in Boston for St. Patrick's Day is kind of like eating Chicken Kiev in Kiev, but you want to slit your wrists after. It's no Ireland, but we like to think it is, and by the end of the night, when we realize we're all just a bunch of wanna-bes, depression inevitably sets in, we do stupid shit, and our shoelaces are getting taken from us by a man with a gun. It's kind of a time honored tradition here and I don't see it ending any time soon. I have a plan this year though. You see, I'm old enough now to start drinking right out of work and be drunk long before the college kids get there. If I can be passed out anywhere by 10pm, I'll be too unconscious to be arrested. Brilliant.

I didn't really know what to post for St. Patty's Day, so I figure a lesbian Scot and Brit eating each other out should do fine. Why a Scot and a Brit you say? Because proper God fearing Irish women would never do such a thing, and to think that is just crazy.

But watching these two lesbos eat each other out did get me thinking about one thing that's Irish.. Corned Beef. If you've never eaten corned beef before, do yourself a favor and never order it. You see, 90% of all corned beef is complete shit. And the reason why it's shit is, it's only really made once a year. It's kind of like fruit cake. Fruit in cake sounds theoretically good. But if you only make it once a year, you never get to practice it, and it turns out like shit. Corned Beef isn't even theoretically good, so making it once a year isn't going to make it any better.

So, if you're going out tonight, just remember, get your drinking in before the amatuers get there. Don't order the corned beef. And if you can find any lesbians, you can rest assured that they are not Irish.

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