Badu made me lose my boner..

Not as sexy as you might think..

As I sit here and watch the play-offs, I'm forced to think about things that you want to wipe from your mind's eye, like that d-bag Lebron James having the game of his life right now. There's something else that I need to forget as quickly as possible. The new Flaming Lips music video starring Erykah Badu. You see, I was tricked into watching it. I was just minding my own business, reading the various headlines on various sites, and one of the headlines mentions that Erykah Badu is in a new video that has a few nude scenes in it, and she's pissed at the director for putting it out. Good news, right?

That's a shit load of sperm
That's a shit load of sperm!

(psss.. the answer is, 'wrong'.) So the first thing that I do is search my memory for any images of Erykah Badu and if I ever had any desire to see her naked. The only thing that I could come up with was near the back of my memory, hazy from the many chemicals that I've consumed in my life. I seemed to remember the video On & On, and a mental note I left myself, that if I ever get a chance to see her naked, I should take it. It wasn't anything urgent, but the note remained, and I had the opportunity. Or at least I thought.

The funny thing is, the note should have never been there in the first place. Since she was never near the top of my list of girls to see naked, and I didn't really feel the need to follow her career in any way, I missed the whole Window Seat ordeal. And in hind sight, I'm glad I missed it. But now I got this massive ball of images of Erykah's big ass, her sister's big ass and crap tits, and the slow motion of it all in movement.

Amy Reid
Amy Reid

The worst part about it, is at one point, it looked a little like a bukake bomb, better known as a Nukake, went off in the room, and completely covered her. I don't know if they wanted that shit to be sexy, but if they did. It was a colossal failure. Now if someone like Lucy Liu was in the tub, then we would have something to talk about. But Erykah Badu's sister? Nah.

Now I definitely need a porn palette cleanser for the mind. My old go to was an early Amy Reid video of her masturbating in various rooms of a house. It was the perfect video to get your mind right. The problem is, I've seen it about a million times. I don't know if you can wear out a file on your hard drive, but if there's a worn spot on the disk, I know what file is under it. The point of all this bull shite is, I need a new primer. If anyone's got some ideas, let's hear 'um.

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