Five Celebrities Who Should Have Been Porn Stars

Find out who made our list of the five celebs who should be in porn

I have nothing against porn stars.  In fact, I've met a few of them and used to work next to a major porn studio.  So yeah, I'm not exactly an expert, but listen, I'm not Oral Roberts preaching about the fury of hell either.  Who am I to judge? I mean, many porn stars make a lot of money, have rockin' bodies and they bring pleasure to millions of people all over the world every single day.  Not too many people can say that.  I know I can't.  Actually, I get lots of hate mail, but that's another story for some other time.

Now I bring up porn stars because I was flipping through a couple tabloid magazines and realized there are quite a lot of celebrities who have missed their true calling: pornography.  Stop laughing.  Let me explain myself.

#5.  Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson
Image of Pamela Anderson courtesy of Wantickets.com

This pick is so obvious, she should almost be #1, but it's just too obvious, so we'll start our list here.  She’s a Canadian who looks great in a bikini, running down on the damn sand in Malibu.  Who cares? More people are interested in Pamela Anderson’s tits and her sex tapes with Tommy Lee and Bret Michaels.  Oh Pam, you should’ve been on Rock of Love and Bret would have chosen you.  Pam’s not afraid to bare it all – the girl has been in Playboy several times over.  You just need to take the next step, girl!

#4.  Tara Reid

Tara Reid
Image of Tara Reid courtesy of Maxim

Tara Reid is yet another actress who can’t act.  All I’ve ever seen her do is party.  How does she have any time to act? At least she had time to pose for Playboy recently.  Actually, perhaps Tara really should just be a stripper.  As you recall, in 2006, Tara had just had some awful plastic surgery and had a moment of accidental exposure on the red carpet.  It was an instant classic!

#3.  Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian
Image of Kim Kardashian courtesy of Playboy.com

Hell, I don’t know if this girl can act or not, but Kim Kardashian can easily bring her curves to the porn business.  Her body will translate easily.  I’m sure of it.  No need for a lot of explanation here.  Also, Kimmie has a sex tape with Ray J.  Enough said.  Reggie Bush - talk to her about it.  But the biggest reason why Kim Kardashian is just made to be in porn is her biggest ASSett - her amazing booty!

#2.  Lindsay Lohan

Tara Reid
Image of Lindsay Lohan courtesy of NYMag.com

Lindsay Lohan is just a mess - but she is one hot mess.  Of course, she was a cute in The Parent Trap remake, but then she hit her teenage years and never looked back.  She’s got this weird stripper vibe going on.  Wasn’t I Know Who Killed Me just a preview of things to come for her? I mean, she plays a stripper in that movie who exhibits strange behavior.  Her leggings collection (yes, leggings,y ’all), 6126 (so named to celebrate Marilyn Monroe’s birthday), is an eclectic mix of fashion WTFs.  There is a particular legging known as Mr.  President, which has quilted leather knee patches.  This was definitely not a Freudian slip.  There are other leggings in the collection that have a little skank factor in them.  Perhaps LiLo’s just stifling her inner porn star.  Let her out, Lindsay.  Let her the fuck out!

#1.  Sharon Stone

Sharon Stone
Image of Sharon Stone courtesy of Reason.com

Our number one celebrity who should have done porn is Sharon Stone.  Honestly, the girl can't act.  She’s been nominated for numerous Razzies and has actually won a few times.  Not something you want to be nominated for, let alone win.  Okay, so she was in Casino with Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci.  Yeah, yeah – I know she was nominated for an Oscar and even won a Golden Globe for her portrayal of Ginger McKenna, but was it really an acting stretch for her? I did like her role in Albert Brooks’ The Muse, but again, I don’t think she was really acting since she just naturally comes off as being a diva.

My whole point being that Sharon Stone can’t act, but she’s beautiful and is not afraid to do things, like open her legs, a la Basic Instinct.  Also remember she went on to even better things like Basic Instinct 2.  Actually, I think she gets off on all the attention and therefore, she’d do well as a porn star.  She can show skin, get attention and still do some "acting."

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User Comments

Bob
Bob Said...
I don't know about this list.. I think this might be a better one.

Paz Vega - from Spanglish
Emma Watson - from Harry Potter ( now, not in that creepy 'I want to bang a 16 year old' type of way )
Selena Gomez - from Wizards of Waverly Place ( in that creepy 'I want to bang a 16 year old' type of way )
Anne Hathaway - from the The Devil Wears Prada
Jessica Alba - from WHENEVER
February 27, 2010 at 3:40 PM

Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton Said...
What about me? I'm so hot, I should be in porn. I suck dick. I'm so hot. I'm Paris Hilton.
February 27, 2010 at 2:52 PM


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