Heather Vahn Posts on RexMag.com

Naughty Rich Girls - Heather Vahn

Naughty Rich Girls - Heather Vahn
I know that there are a shit load of Naughty Rich Girls out there in the world. Hell, they even have their own television show with the Kardashians. And when Paris and Kim's and a few other sex tapes came out, I thought there was a little golden age where we got to see where real rich girls really like to fuck. Hey, what the fuck else do they do all day. I know it's not housework. But alas, the golden age came to a stop, and we had to turn our lives back to the reality of porn. It's nice to know that will never leave us.

Pure Mature - Heather Vahn

Pure Mature - Heather Vahn
I was at the office today, and I was thinking about the ratio of big to small asses that happen to be within ten to fifteen desks of me. Now, the average age of my office, if I had to guess, would be about 40, so you could imagine the ratio if you had to guess right now. During the day, I paid awfully close attention to the situation, and I am surprised to report that I only saw one ass that I could say was on the 'normal' size. Every other ass in the office fell somewhere between large and huge. Now, I don't know if that's indicative living in these United States, being middle aged, working in an office, or a combination of all three, but I thought that the law of averages would offer me at least one skinny ass. But, alas, it didn't. By the time I was driving home, I had convinced myself that that's not such a bad thing, and the main reason of my post tonight. Heather Vahn is a very fare representative of all the good parts of all the ladies that work around me, combined into one person. And what more could you hope for in a porn star?

Pure Mature - Heather Vahn

Pure Mature - Heather Vahn

Today we're checking out Heather Vahn, the woman that speaks on twitter only using hashtags. Well.. she does use some nouns every now and again.. but not verbs. Never verbs. In fact, as I read the twitter account, I missed verbs more and more. So in honor of verbs, I submit a children's poem, in the hopes that Heather will one day use a verb.. or adverb.. either one.

My Busy Day

I run, I ride.
I read and write.
I pick, I pull.
I fly a kite..

Dirty Wives Club - Heather Vahn

Dirty Wives Club - Heather Vahn
I would have to say that it's been about three or four years since I've actually read anything online. As with most people, I've learned long ago that reading never actually got you anywhere in life, and reading something that's been posted online actively pulls you further away from life goals while you're reading it. It's a phenomenon called O'Reillying. It's where meaningless things in life draw your attention away from the more meaningful things, like porn and pizza. And once you get into the pull of reading things on the internet, it starts to not be enough. You start to want more.. but how do you get more? You can't read everything on the internet. That's just too many words..